Bhakti- Substance Over Form
Mom: Vinay, it's Friday, you need to be a vegetarian today and make sure you drop by the temple on your way to work.
Vinay: Mom, yesterday you said it was Ekadasi and made me fast. Then you said it's Thursday and I need to light the ghee lamp for Guru. I had already gone to temple to do that. Now, you say it's Friday and I have to be a vegetarian. Mom...it's Friday, I am meeting my college mates after work at the pub. I can't find veg food, neither can I make it to the temple.
Mom: Oh boy, I have already told you, the astrologer says, your time is not at all good. You will be getting into trouble at work and you will have obstacles getting a good bride. You need to observe these fasts to overcome these misfortunes.
Vinay: (while sipping coffee) Mom, you know, more than my work and getting married, you are my biggest headache now. *giggling*
Mom: ( stern look, throws down the knife while cutting vegetables) Oh, so now I have become a headache for you after bringing you up, educating you....
Vinay: *interrupts* Mom mom, I was just kidding. Let me explain. (after a long pause and biting on the biscuits). You see, for Thaipusam, you made me fast for 15 days and carry Paal Kavadi for Muruga at Batu Caves. It was during my college reunion party. I could not booze and eat meat. My friends were all teasing me. I had to take this insult in the name of your vow to Lord Muruga if I get through my ICAEW final papers. Then, you saw some astrologer under the tree and he has told you that I have some bad times based on his predictions of my horoscope. I don't even know how on earth, this man under the tree without telescope can talk about planetary positions. It's absurd, but that's fine, I can tolerate this nonsense. I'm only saying, today I can't do this, just today mom. Tomorrow I will be a vegetarian and go to the temple, after all it's Saturday, and you will ask me to light sesame oil lamp for Saneeswaran anyways. Isn't that what the guy under the tree told you?
Mom: I don't understand kids these days.
Vinay: Mom, I'm not a kid
Mom: Those days, when parents tell us to do something, we just follow, we don't argue, we don't question them. These days, you guys think you are too smart. You think you know everything. It's up to you. Do whatever you like.
Vinay: Mom, thanks for spoiling my day. You have made every attempt to brighten up my day. I bet you I will surely run into trouble at work today due to my bad mood. That gives you the chance to prove that what the astrologer said was true.
Mom: ( Takes seat beside Vinay) Vinay, there are reasons for everything that our teachings ask us to do. If we follow, we don't get into trouble.
Vinay: O mom, whatever. I'm getting late. See you...bye. (While walking to the door lifting his laptop bag), but today, no, I'm not being a vegetarian and I'm not going to temple.
Mom: *Sighs*
Dad: (Walks in) Dear, I overheard what Vinay was saying while walking out. I bet you both had a commotion again? *Laughs*. Well, let him be, you don't have to get tensed.
Mom: But, you know.....
Dad: I know his time isn't quite good based on the horoscope. You are asking him to do this and that at the temple, be a vegetarian on selected days, etc.
Mom: Am I wrong?
Dad: No you are not at all wrong. But there should be substance over form.
Mom: Now, stop confusing me with your accounting terminologies. Be clear.
Dad: Recently I attended a talk in the temple and this is what the Guruji told. Let me explain. When it comes to devotion, visiting temples, performing rituals, observing fasts, etc, it becomes meaningless if it is not done out of Bhakti. First and foremost, the Palan or benefit is only obtained if a ritual is performed consciously with devotion. It goes a long way, right to the upbringing of a person and how well one is being guided and taught from a very tender age. As parents, we never took the initiative to learn and ask the 'why' question. Now when we are asked by our kids, we just say it's how our parents taught us to do, just follow. Dear, we must understand the current generation. They don't accept vague explanations, they explore, they learn and they decide for themselves. If we are not giving them proper explanations, they just become non-believers.
Mom: Well and fine. But these are for his own good and for him to get blessings from God.
Dad: I'm getting there...the Guruji further explained about vows and fulfillment of vows. He says that, in today's world, everything is referred in monetary terms. Likewise, even Bhakti or devotion is monetized. When someone wants to get a good job after graduation, he/she makes a vow that he will perform certain rituals or Puja or shave his head on Thaipusam. This concept of give and take is similar to making a business deal with the higher Supreme. If we really deep dive into this, it seems silly that we don't even have self realization that we are the Jivatma (soul) that dwells in this body and the Jivatma is none other than the form of the Paramatma (Supreme soul). Having said that, don't you think it's total stupidity to not know the presence of the Supreme being and not realizing that He is all knowing? Doesn't He know what's best for us and when is the right moment to bestow us? This Guruji says, do not pray for wishes to come through, rather pray for courage to face any challenges that comes your way. The concept of vows and worshiping for mere worldly gains, is nothing but a formula used by certain people to earn a living. Bhakti and true surrender is beyond these worldly matters. So, coming to Vinay, performing what his mom tells him to do without believing in it, doesn't really mean anything.
Mom: Hmm...this is definitely enlightening. So what about Parigaaram (penance) and rituals, are there also meaningless?
Dad: No, that's not correct. Parigaaram are meant to be performed to overcome certain obstacles or to seek the guidance of the Supreme Being. However, that should be performed with full devotion, full devotion here is we plead for forgiveness and seek pardon fully realizing that it is our mistake and past karma effects that we are undergoing certain ordeals. Most often than not, it's more form rather than substance. We carry Kavadi for Thaipusam, we contribute and partake in certain rituals. However, these are merely performed without devotion, there's no sense of guilt and there's no intention to seek blessings and beg for pardon of past misdoings. It's merely done for the sake of it. Are we making a joke of ourselves or the God? *laughs* Some even create a show and attract a crowd by having their bodies pierced, dressed up as Muniandy Samy, carry huge Kaavadis. How do we refer to God? is he some jungle maniac who wants to see blood shed and enjoy watching the pain of another? Come on...no loved one will enjoy watching us in pain and so is God. This is just a mockery we make of ourselves, proving our bravery, heroic powers and or luring crowd cheers. Again, there's absolutely no devotion.
Mom: I regret how we have been taught the wrong doctrines and how we force things onto our kids.
Dad: My exact point. When Vinay goes to temple on a particular day you ask him to, he doesn't do it with devotion. He either does it out of fear of God or just to please you, dear. Worse still, to watch some pretty girl draped in Chudidhar. *Chukkles* At the end, it becomes meaningless. There's only form rather than substance. He has to realize who is he, what is his relationship with the Paramatma. These are basic foundations that we have failed to build in him as parents. Well, we ourselves don't know it most of time, right?
Vinay: Mom, yesterday you said it was Ekadasi and made me fast. Then you said it's Thursday and I need to light the ghee lamp for Guru. I had already gone to temple to do that. Now, you say it's Friday and I have to be a vegetarian. Mom...it's Friday, I am meeting my college mates after work at the pub. I can't find veg food, neither can I make it to the temple.
Mom: Oh boy, I have already told you, the astrologer says, your time is not at all good. You will be getting into trouble at work and you will have obstacles getting a good bride. You need to observe these fasts to overcome these misfortunes.
Vinay: (while sipping coffee) Mom, you know, more than my work and getting married, you are my biggest headache now. *giggling*
Mom: ( stern look, throws down the knife while cutting vegetables) Oh, so now I have become a headache for you after bringing you up, educating you....
Vinay: *interrupts* Mom mom, I was just kidding. Let me explain. (after a long pause and biting on the biscuits). You see, for Thaipusam, you made me fast for 15 days and carry Paal Kavadi for Muruga at Batu Caves. It was during my college reunion party. I could not booze and eat meat. My friends were all teasing me. I had to take this insult in the name of your vow to Lord Muruga if I get through my ICAEW final papers. Then, you saw some astrologer under the tree and he has told you that I have some bad times based on his predictions of my horoscope. I don't even know how on earth, this man under the tree without telescope can talk about planetary positions. It's absurd, but that's fine, I can tolerate this nonsense. I'm only saying, today I can't do this, just today mom. Tomorrow I will be a vegetarian and go to the temple, after all it's Saturday, and you will ask me to light sesame oil lamp for Saneeswaran anyways. Isn't that what the guy under the tree told you?
Mom: I don't understand kids these days.
Vinay: Mom, I'm not a kid
Mom: Those days, when parents tell us to do something, we just follow, we don't argue, we don't question them. These days, you guys think you are too smart. You think you know everything. It's up to you. Do whatever you like.
Vinay: Mom, thanks for spoiling my day. You have made every attempt to brighten up my day. I bet you I will surely run into trouble at work today due to my bad mood. That gives you the chance to prove that what the astrologer said was true.
Mom: ( Takes seat beside Vinay) Vinay, there are reasons for everything that our teachings ask us to do. If we follow, we don't get into trouble.
Vinay: O mom, whatever. I'm getting late. See you...bye. (While walking to the door lifting his laptop bag), but today, no, I'm not being a vegetarian and I'm not going to temple.
Mom: *Sighs*
Dad: (Walks in) Dear, I overheard what Vinay was saying while walking out. I bet you both had a commotion again? *Laughs*. Well, let him be, you don't have to get tensed.
Mom: But, you know.....
Dad: I know his time isn't quite good based on the horoscope. You are asking him to do this and that at the temple, be a vegetarian on selected days, etc.
Mom: Am I wrong?
Dad: No you are not at all wrong. But there should be substance over form.
Mom: Now, stop confusing me with your accounting terminologies. Be clear.
Dad: Recently I attended a talk in the temple and this is what the Guruji told. Let me explain. When it comes to devotion, visiting temples, performing rituals, observing fasts, etc, it becomes meaningless if it is not done out of Bhakti. First and foremost, the Palan or benefit is only obtained if a ritual is performed consciously with devotion. It goes a long way, right to the upbringing of a person and how well one is being guided and taught from a very tender age. As parents, we never took the initiative to learn and ask the 'why' question. Now when we are asked by our kids, we just say it's how our parents taught us to do, just follow. Dear, we must understand the current generation. They don't accept vague explanations, they explore, they learn and they decide for themselves. If we are not giving them proper explanations, they just become non-believers.
Mom: Well and fine. But these are for his own good and for him to get blessings from God.
Dad: I'm getting there...the Guruji further explained about vows and fulfillment of vows. He says that, in today's world, everything is referred in monetary terms. Likewise, even Bhakti or devotion is monetized. When someone wants to get a good job after graduation, he/she makes a vow that he will perform certain rituals or Puja or shave his head on Thaipusam. This concept of give and take is similar to making a business deal with the higher Supreme. If we really deep dive into this, it seems silly that we don't even have self realization that we are the Jivatma (soul) that dwells in this body and the Jivatma is none other than the form of the Paramatma (Supreme soul). Having said that, don't you think it's total stupidity to not know the presence of the Supreme being and not realizing that He is all knowing? Doesn't He know what's best for us and when is the right moment to bestow us? This Guruji says, do not pray for wishes to come through, rather pray for courage to face any challenges that comes your way. The concept of vows and worshiping for mere worldly gains, is nothing but a formula used by certain people to earn a living. Bhakti and true surrender is beyond these worldly matters. So, coming to Vinay, performing what his mom tells him to do without believing in it, doesn't really mean anything.
Mom: Hmm...this is definitely enlightening. So what about Parigaaram (penance) and rituals, are there also meaningless?
Dad: No, that's not correct. Parigaaram are meant to be performed to overcome certain obstacles or to seek the guidance of the Supreme Being. However, that should be performed with full devotion, full devotion here is we plead for forgiveness and seek pardon fully realizing that it is our mistake and past karma effects that we are undergoing certain ordeals. Most often than not, it's more form rather than substance. We carry Kavadi for Thaipusam, we contribute and partake in certain rituals. However, these are merely performed without devotion, there's no sense of guilt and there's no intention to seek blessings and beg for pardon of past misdoings. It's merely done for the sake of it. Are we making a joke of ourselves or the God? *laughs* Some even create a show and attract a crowd by having their bodies pierced, dressed up as Muniandy Samy, carry huge Kaavadis. How do we refer to God? is he some jungle maniac who wants to see blood shed and enjoy watching the pain of another? Come on...no loved one will enjoy watching us in pain and so is God. This is just a mockery we make of ourselves, proving our bravery, heroic powers and or luring crowd cheers. Again, there's absolutely no devotion.
Mom: I regret how we have been taught the wrong doctrines and how we force things onto our kids.
Dad: My exact point. When Vinay goes to temple on a particular day you ask him to, he doesn't do it with devotion. He either does it out of fear of God or just to please you, dear. Worse still, to watch some pretty girl draped in Chudidhar. *Chukkles* At the end, it becomes meaningless. There's only form rather than substance. He has to realize who is he, what is his relationship with the Paramatma. These are basic foundations that we have failed to build in him as parents. Well, we ourselves don't know it most of time, right?
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