Tarpanam and Soul's Journey

Often times, I get questioned by people why do we do Tarpanam. The question arises in 2 context. 

1. A non believer of God trying to question with narrow mindedness and with limited knowledge of Sanathana Dharma and with expectation that results that are not seen, heard, felt, tasted, spoken and smelled is untrue.

2. A true believer of God trying to gain knowledge and ensure that they perform a ritual meaningfully.

For the first questioner, this article does not apply as these folks need to be approached in a different manner. This article is particularly for the 2nd questioner who is trying to understand the significance of the ritual and wants to perform the ritual for betterment.

Starting with the definitions:

Tarpanam comes from the word 'Trup' which means 'to satisfy others'. Tila Tarpanam is usage of Tila (black sesame seeds) to satisfy others. Why is Tila used instead of pepper corns, mustard seeds or even some tasty Pizza or Pasta? 

When a soul departs from the body, the soul experiences a state of lost and requires guidance as to the next stages. Actually it just cuts the astral cord, astral cord is the cord connecting the soul to the body. Once this cord is cut the soul becomes free of the body and moves up and out of the body. As a soul always loves the body it held, it gets in the body back and tries very hard to move it and stay in it. If you must have seen there is sometimes a very subtle, slight movement of the face, hand even after the person has died, it is actually the soul trying to get in because it cant believe it is dead. There is still a feeling of aliveness. It tries hard to enter the body back again through the 9 openings (Nava Dwara) of the bodynamely 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 openings in nostrils, mouth, urethra and anus. 

Just because the astral cord has been cut, it cannot stay there and is pushed upwards and out of the body. Hence, as part of the last rites, the openings are closed with cotton to disallow the soul entering the body again. There is a pull from above, a magnetic pull to go up. At this stage the soul hears many voices, all at a time. These are nothing but the thoughts of those present in the room. The soul talks to his/her loved ones like he/she used to do, and shouts I am not dead. Slowly it starts to realize that it cannot be heard. Slowly and steadily the soul realizes that it is dead and there is no way back. Then it reaches to approx 12 feet, i.e the height of the ceiling and sees and hears everything that is happening. At this point, many have witnessed loud sound of something dropping on the house's roof top. This is the soul trying to enter the house it lived before. 

When a person dies, the journey of the soul begins and it moves away from the body. For a less spiritual souls, the experience of of death is very painful and even a second feels like an year. After leaving the body, Divya Drishti (Ability to see the world from anywhere) is given to the soul, but it can’t express its feeling to any living person because the soul leaves its earth element after death. Hence, the soul lives in thoughts. For a spiritual person, after death, the thoughts are indulged in God and the soul truly understands the need to surrender and reach God. The process of death is visible only to the person dying. According to Garuda Purana when soul leaves the body, Yama Dhootas (messengers of Yama) appear in front of the soul and they are very horrible. After watching these horrible creatures the soul leaves its five elements (the physical body) and move to “Angoostha Matra Body” whose size is similar to thumb size. Angoostha means the thumb. Soul in Angoostha Matra body is then covered with ‘Yatnaroopi body’ by Yama Dhootas. Yatnaroopi is the body which feels all the pain which will be happening with the soul during the journey at Yamaloka and this is also known as Preta Yoni. Soul gets free from the Yatnaroopi Body only after completing all the punishments. For a highly spiritual individual, having done good deeds and lived by the law of Dharma, the experience after death is less painful

Generally the soul will be around the body until cremation. So, next time if you see a body being carried for cremation, please be informed that the soul is also part of the procession seeing, hearing and witnessing everything and everyone. Once the cremation is done, the soul completely realizes that the main essence of its survival on earth is lost, the body it held for so many years has dissolved in the 5 elements. The soul experiences complete freedom, the boundaries it had while being in the body are gone, it can just reach anywhere by mere thoughts and here, our spiritual practices and lifestyle while we live paves the path. For 7 days, the soul moves about its places of interest like its favorite joint, morning walk garden, office, home, etc. If the soul is possessive of his money, it will just stay near his/her locker, or if he/she is possessive of his children, it will just be in their room, clinging on to them.

By the end of the 7th day, the soul beats farewell to his family and moves still upwards to the periphery of the earth plane to cross over to the other side. In certain Hindu cultures, the 7th night or 8th night prayers is performed by offering all tasty delicacies to the departed soul as a mean of beating farewell. It is said that there is a big tunnel across the periphery of the earth plane which the soul has to cross before reaching the astral plane (Pitru Loka). Hence it is said the 12 days since the death are extremely crucial, loved ones have to carry out the rituals in a proper manner and pray and ask forgiveness from the soul. In some cultures or depending on the spiritual level of the departed soul, they observe 16 days of mourning period and prayers are held daily accordingly. This is to ensure that the departed soul does not carry these negative emotions like emotional hurts, hatred, anger, etc. Whether to observe 11 days, 13 days or 16 days mourning period, one has to know their very own culture and family norms. It is also believed that one who has been initiated by a Guru into spirituality practices and is well read in terms of the Vedas, it doesn't take too long for the soul to accept death and seek refuge on the glory feet of God.

All these rituals, prayers act like food for the soul which help it in its onward journey. Father, grand father, great grand father are three generation above. Son, grand son and great grandson are three generations below. Putting the individual in the center it becomes a total of 7 generations. All these seven generations of people are connected by the history of DNA scientifically. They carry the same ‘Y’ chromosome. (It is estimated that mutation occurs once in 500 generations. So for practical reasons we consider without mutations the genetic information is same across generations) Each individual has two fold history. One for the body that is built with physical matter and other for the consciousness that is embodied with its own likes and dislikes. (This is Jeeva’s migration from one body to another). Unfortunately the physical instruments cannot measure this consciousness. That is where the science fails. Birth is actually bringing this two histories together. We acquire a body, mind and intellect as instruments from forefathers and use them to evolve our own Jeeva consciousness. So, we are indebted to the givers of these instruments. As the disembodied earlier conscious beings in forefathers go to higher realms of existence we need to remember them and offer our thankfulness to them. The process is called Shradda i.e., a faithful offering. As the disembodied consciousness rises to higher realms, it requires some support from the descendants in the form of these rituals. As the time in higher order is longer i.e, one month of earth time is one day in the middle realm and one year of earth time is equivalent of one day in the third realm, the Shradda is performed:

1. first 10 days daily
2. for next 12 months monthly (one month is one day in that intermediary space governed by moon)
3. once a year after that (one year is one day in the realm of Sun)

This ritual help the individual being rise above to the right realm and sustain there. Pinda Tarpanam and water is offered immediately after death until the 12th day. Pindam is made of cooked rice or rice flour mixed with water made into balls. Pindam acts as an essential source for the soul to heal the hunger, water to quench the thirst and the Pindam is also a substance for the soul to prepare its subtle body for the journey upwards.

When one's great grand son performs the rites, e/she will rise above to the highest realm without coming back. That is the slower method of attaining the highest which has dependency on next generations.

So, we perform this faithful rite to help our ancestors attain the right place according to their Karma. If we fail to do so, they need to come back into earth plane again and either attain the highest realm through Yoga and Vedanta or again give a try to get good progeny.

So, the body and associated behavior along with certain psychological traits of the people match. This is the scientific part of the hierarchy. 

Coming back to the soul's journey, at the end of the tunnel it sees a huge bright light signifying the entry into the astral world. On the 11th and then the 12th day or 16th day, loved ones perform Yagnas and rituals through which the soul is united with its ancestors, close friends, relatives and the guides. After the 12th day, all the passed away ancestors welcome the soul to the upper plane and they greet and hug them exactly like we do here on seeing our family members after a long time. 

The soul along with its guides go through a review of the life it just completed on earth in the presence of the Great Karmic Board. It is here in the pure light, it witnesses the whole past life. The Eighth Chapter of the Bhagavad Gita deals with the subject of life after death. The Puranas, the Upanishads, the Yoga Vasishtha and the Bhagavad Gita contain many varieties of descriptions of the condition of the soul after it leaves this body. The Puranas, especially, go into a detailed, description of the condition in which the soul finds itself, particularly if it has not done any merit, or if the merit it has done is so negligible that the wrongs it has committed outweigh the good or are on an equal footing with it.

The stories in the Garuda Purana and such other scriptures, even in Srimad Bhagavata, are really frightening. When the soul departs from the body in the case of less spiritual souls, it is taken away by the messengers of Yama and placed before the Lord of Death for judgment. It is said that Yama asks the soul, “What good and bad have you done?” Normally, the soul cannot remember anything. It will say, “I am not sure.” The after shock of separation from the body, removes all memory, and the soul cannot remember what it has done in the previous life. It is said that, then a hot rod, called a Yamadanda, is kept on its head, and immediately it remembers its entire past. It knows every detail of the actions that it did, both good and the bad. The soul says, “I have done a minimal good deeds, but have made a lot of mistakes and have taken many erroneous actions.” Yama asks, “How can you ractify that now?”

The soul replies, “I have my children and relatives to offset that for me. They will conduct Yajnas, charities, worship, Thirumurai recitals, Bhajans and meditations in my name. I shall be free from the consequence of the sins that I have committed or the mistakes that I have made.” “Go and see then!” says Yama.

The soul then hovers around, observing what the children and relatives are doing, and Yama’s messengers stand behind like guards. If a ceremony is done in the name of the soul, such as the Bhagavata Saptaham, the Rudra Yaga, the Narayana Bali, Vishnu Yajna, Pinda Tarpanam and all those things that were favorites to the soul are given in Dhanam (charity), the effect of these good deeds is credited to the account of the soul and it is offset to that extent.

If suppose this is not done and, like in modern days where we only strive to believe form based evidence and reasonings such as scientific explanations more than spiritual reasonings, or when relatives do not believe in these observances saying “Dad has passed away, let it be, that’s all. We just have to move on and we have our lives.” No charity, no goodwill, no prayers, and it is business as usual at home. Worse even, they do not even believe that something happens after death because they think that there is no life after death. If that is the case, the soul is dragged back to Yamaloka. When the guards know that someone is a culprit, and it is confirmed, they deal with him very severely. If they know that he is going to be released and nothing is going to happen to him, they do not bother much about it. But if his children and relatives have done nothing, it is certain that he is going to be punished, so for one year they drag the soul to Yamaloka. At first they brought the soul within 10 or 16 days because they wanted to know what was happening. When it is certain that it is going to be punished, they drag it, pull it, scratch and beat it, and it will be hungry and thirsty and bleeding. That is why another ceremony is done after one year during the death anniversary. It takes one year for the soul to return to the abode of Yama. The Varshika or Thivasam (annual ceremony) is very important. If nothing has been done on the tenth to thirteenth days or 16th day after the passing of the soul, at least something should be done on the anniversary so that some mercy may be granted by Lord Yama before the sentence is passed. In some families, offering of mamsa (meat) on the 16th day prayers or during the Thivasam is a common practice. This should be strictly avoided although the soul might have enjoyed deliciously cooked chicken curry when he was alive. The reasoning is, for the soul to attain Satviktta (spirtiual purity), non veg is to be avoided, underlying reason is to avoid killing other living beings. Also, when non veg food are offered, it attracts the unrest souls as such the Picashas and Prethas (Ghosts) who are directionless and hungry. This brings negative energy into the home. 

This narration brings us back to Tila Tarpanam. On this day of the Thivasam, Sattvikta is received from the higher positive spiritual planes (Loka). The embodied Jiva (souls) from the nether region (Bhuvaloka) come near Earth to get the benefit of Sattvikta. Due to this, there is a higher probability of an increase in our distress on this day. We owe our ancestors a lot of debts and God expects that we repay these debts. Hence it is advised to offer sesame seeds (Tila Tarpanam) to ancestors on this day, so that they can move on in their after-death life. 

Sesame seeds have a higher capacity to absorb Sattvikta and they remove the spiritually impure components (Rajasa and Tamasa). Hence no other items are offered. While offering sesame seeds, based on the Bhaava (spiritual emotion) of the worshiper, the black covering around the symbolic subtle body of the ancestor is removed and the spiritual purity in their subtle body increases. Thus they gain the energy required to move on to the next spiritual plane. The benefits of this are that the ritual performer gains spiritual purity as the God creates a subtle protection around him. Due to this, the ritual performer offering sesame to ancestors gets protected from any distress. However, Tila Tarpanam should not be performed merely for personal benefits, rather it should be performed with full devotion and in memory of the departed loved one.

If the soul has no merit at all, it will be sent to the land of punishment, whatever the punishment be. In the Srimad Bhagavata, the Garuda Purana, etc, the type of punishment and difficulties that the soul has to undergo are described in such gory manner that we would not like to be born into this world again. Once the soul is relieved from all sins after undergoing imprisonment in Yamaloka, it is released. It is said that the soul is then sent to Rudraloka, and will not be allowed to leave. To release the soul from Rudra’s clutches, Rudra Yajna is done by the loved ones. Then it is sent to Vaikuntha, so Vishnu Yajna is done. After many many years, the soul attains Moksha. This is how a less spiritual person gets purified in a very painful manner, before attaining blissfulness.  On the other hand, if the soul has a tremendous attachment to relatives and wealth, it is born again into this world. This is the effect of attachments. At times, due to very intense attachments, which do not even give the soul time to take birth in this world, the soul is converted into ghost. Preta Yoni is the outcome and, as described in Srimad Bhagavatam, it hovers around in space, hungry and thirsty. 

Here the Bhagavad Gita describes the more glorious paths to the higher realms. Those who are not spiritually awakened but have done immensely good deeds reach a lower kingdom called Chandraloka- the realm of the moon, where they stay invisibly and enjoy the fruit of their good deeds. When the momentum of their good deeds, charitable deeds, etc is exhausted, they come back into this world. But if a person is spiritually awakened and is not merely a good man or not a charitable or a philanthropic person, then the path is different. These two paths are called the northern path and the southern path. Yatra kāle tvanāvṛttim āvṛttiṁ caiva yoginaḥ, prayātā yānti taṁ kālaṁ vakṣyāmi bharatarṣabha (8.23): “I shall now tell you,” says Bhagavan Sri Krishna, “about that path treading which one returns, and that path treading which one does not return. These two paths I shall describe to you now. Uttaramarga or Jyotirmarga, and Dakshinamarga or Dhumamarga, as they are called.” Agnir jotir ahaḥ śuklaḥ ṣaṇmāsā uttarāyaṇam, tatra prayātā gacchanti brahma brahmavido janāḥ (8.24): Everything is filled with light, everything is filled with divinity, and everything is superintended over by a divinity. The fire of cremation that is the agni, the physical fire, which has a divinity of its own assumes a divine form in the case of a person who is to rise up to the celestial realms. Then there is a divinity superintending over the daytime, in contrast with the night. If a person passes away during the daytime, and during the bright half of the lunar month, and during the northern movement of the sun, he shall reach the solar orb-Suryaloka. From there, he will be taken up further. The Upanishads describe many more stages than the ones mentioned here. And at a particular stage beyond the sun, a superhuman entity is supposed to come and take the soul by the hand. Up to the solar orb, or even a little beyond, is called the realm of lightning. That is, beyond the sun, the lightning of Brahmaloka flashes forth. The individuality consciousness of the soul slowly gets diminished at that time, and it is not aware of any self-effort. It does not know that it is moving at all, as the ego is almost gone. It is said that at that time an Amanava Purusha deputed by Brahma himself comes down in a luminous form, and leads the soul to the abode of Brahma, the Creator. This is the path of Krama Mukti, or gradual liberation, in which the soul is supposed to be glorying in Brahmaloka until Brahma himself is dissolved at the end of time. Then, the Absolute Brahman is reached.

But there is a possibility of immediate salvation without passing through all these stage i.e. a hundredfold promotion. It is the dissolution of the soul in the supreme Brahman at this very spot. The soul need not have to travel in space and time because it is a Jivanmukta Purusha, one who has attained consciousness where there is no distance to be traveled. For him/her, there is no solar orb or anything else. He has spread his consciousness everywhere, in all beings: sarvabhūtahite ratāḥ (12.4). He is the soul of all beings, like Suka Maharishi, Vyasa, Vasishtha, etc. When his soul spreads itself everywhere in the cosmos, where is the question of moving? Na tasya prāṇā utkrāmanti(B.U. 4.4.6): His Pranas do not depart, as is the case of other people. Brahmaiva san brahmāpyeti: They dissolve here, just now. That is, the moment the soul departs the body, it enters the supreme Brahman, the Absolute, then and there, without having to pass through all these stages. But in the case of Krama Mukti, the graduated steps apply as mentioned in Bhagavad Gita.

The divinity of fire, the divinity of daytime, the divinity of the lunar month’s bright half, and the divinity ruling over the northern movement of the sun will take care of the soul and bring it up. In the Moksha Parva of the Mahabharata there is the story of a great ascetic who rose up from his body, and a little flame rising up through the sky could be seen. It rose higher and higher until it reached the orb of the sun, where a divine being emerged from the solar orb and received it. According to our tradition, the sun is not a material substance. It is a divinity (Hiranmaya purusha) in which a golden-coloured Narayana is seated. Just as a human being is not a body, the sun is also not a body; and just as we see only the body of a person and do not see what the person is on the inside, we do not see divinity of the sun. We see only its outer appearance, which we call helium, atomic energy, etc., in just the same way as we call a person bone and flesh, nerves, blood, etc.So there is something beyond the human concept here. Divinities are everywhere in the cosmos, in every atom, which is also controlled and enveloped by the universal God. If God is everywhere, why should He not be in every atom and in everything? In the case of such a realization, there is immediate dissolution.

Dhūmo rātris tathā kṛṣṇaḥ ṣaṇmāsā dakṣiṇāyanam, tatra cāndramasaṁ jyotir yogī prāpya nivartate (8.25). There are those who have not spiritually awakened themselves, have not done spiritual meditation, and have an insufficient devotion to God. Even if they are very good people, highly charitable and humanistic in their approach, they will not be allowed to move along this northern path to the sun. They will not go to Brahmaloka. They will go to a lower realm, called Chandraloka. The smoke which rises from the fire during cremation will be their guiding principle. The dark half of the lunar month, and the southern movement of the sun, signify a deficiency in divine powers and a lesser chance of the soul going up along the path of brightness. It will reach Chandraloka, where it will enjoy the fruits of the good deeds it has done. Whatever good deeds were done will have their effect. Every action produces a reaction. Any good, charitable deed will bring the soul an abundance of joy in Chandraloka; but the soul will come back, because anyone who has not realized the universality of God will come back. Only a soul who is totally devoted to God will gradually pass through these stages of divine ordinances to the Ultimate Being. But if we are united with God here itself, we will immediately merge into God.

Śuklakṛṣṇe gatī hyete jagataḥ śāśvate mate (8.26). Broadly speaking, these are two paths of the soul after death. Either we go that way or we go this way, according to our karma and our spiritual status. Śuklakṛṣṇe gatī hyete jagataḥ śāśvate mate, ekayā yāty anāvṛttim anyayāvartate punaḥ: By the one path, one does not come back to this world; by the other path, one returns.

Naite sṛtī pārtha jānan yogī muhyati kaścana, tasmāt sarveṣu kāleṣu yogayukto bhavārjuna (8.27). Having known clearly that these are the two paths, who would like to tread the lesser path? “Therefore, be a yogi, O Arjuna, and try to tread the upper path.” Whoever knows the merits and demerits of these two paths will certainly pursue the path of merit rather than the path of demerit. It is the lack of knowledge that prevents us from working for our own salvation. But if we know that such a thing exists, and that even after death our Karmas will pursue us wherever we go, being even if we go to the nether regions, we will be caught by the nemesis of our actions, the results of what we have done, because there is a law which punishes us, we will obey the law. And if we know that there are these two paths, and there is a chance of our entering into the lower one, we will certainly work to attain the higher one. Knowing this, we will certainly become wiser and therefore, work for a state of establishment in yoga and union with the divinities in the various graduated scales of development, or with the Supreme Absolute itself, whatever the case may be. Either way, one will be a supreme yogi who is united with the Absolute, or one will be a graduated yogi who will move systematically through the stages mentioned. Anyway, knowing this, one will not come to grief. Tasmāt sarveṣu kāleṣu yogayukto bhavārjuna: “Therefore, become a yogi, Arjuna!”

Vedeṣu yajñeṣu tapaḥsu caiva dāneṣu yat puṇyaphalaṁ pradiṣṭam, atyeti tat sarvam idaṁ viditvā yogī paraṁ sthānam upaiti cādyam (8.28). These discourses that you are hearing now as Satsanga, the knowledge of these wonderful things beyond this world that you are gaining is greater than all the good deeds that you do by way of charity, and all the sacrifices that you perform. All the merits that you will accrue by doing charity, good deeds and even the study of scriptures like the Vedas, and by doing austerity and living an abstemious life will bring you some good results. But this Phala of Satsanga, the blessing of this highly purifying training that your soul is undergoing by listening to these glorious eternal realities, certainly has a greater capacity to produce an effect than all the charities, studies and scriptures, etc. It transcends even the Vedas, and you attain to that place, that abode, which is the Ancient One. With this, we conclude the Eighth Chapter. 

By sincerely offering sesame seeds with devotion and spiritual emotion or Bhaava, the debt unto ancestors reduces to some extent as God and the ancestors are pleased. They bestow their blessings on the seeker for his/her spiritual progress and obstacles faced in life are removed. When sesame seeds are offered at the feet of our ancestors (who have arrived in the subtle body), the ritual performer absorbs the spiritually pure or Saatvik frequencies emitted by their ancestors. Subsequently when water is offered, the spiritual emotion or Bhaava of the person offering it, is invoked. Due to the state of spiritual emotion state, Purity absorbed by the sesame seeds is received by the person offering it in greater amount. From this, we can understand that God is desirous of spiritual emotion or Bhaava. When we offer our ego and spiritual emotion to God, He rewards us with abundance. 

The other common questions are ''what if the soul has attained Moksha or is reborn? How does Tarpana and Shradda (faithful offering) serves the purpose?''

The below from Vaidyanatha Dikshitar's Smriti Mukta Phalam gives the answer to these questions:

'devo yati pita jatah subhakarmanuyogatah I 

tasyannamirtam bhutva devatvepyupagachchati II 

devetve bhogyarupena pasutve tu trunam bhavet I 

srardhannam vayurupena nagatvepyupagchchati II 

panam bhavati yakshasve grudhratve cha tathamisham i 

tanujatve tatha mamsam pretatve rudhirotakam II 

manushatve annapanadi nanamogakaram tadha I 

ratisaktih striiyah kanta bhojyam bhojanasakta II 

tanasaktirasa vibhava rupamarogya meva cha I 

srardha pushpamitam proktam brahmasamagamah II' 

Meaning:

If Pitru becomes Deva due to his good karma, the offering given in Anna Rupam (form of food) in Shradda goes as Amirtha to the Pitru. 

If taken birth as cow it becomes as grass. 

If taken birth as snake, the offering becomes air ( or appropriate food). 

If taken birth as Yakshan, the offering becomes drink. 

If taken birth as vulture or Rakshasa, the offering becomes Mamsa (meat) 

If taken birth as Preta (spirit/ghost) , the offering becomes blood and water. 

If taken birth as human, the offering becomes suitable food. 

Next question is ''Can daughters perform Tarpanam and Shradda?''

In Garuda Purana, it is said that son, grandson, great grandson, daughter’s son, brother, nephew, cousin’s son, father, son of elder and younger sister, maternal uncle, anyone in the seven generations and from the same lineage (Sapinda), anyone after the seven generations and belonging to the same family domain (Samanodak), disciple, friend, son-in-law of the deceased person can perform Shradda in that order. It is mentioned that the daughter, wife, mother and daughter-in-law of the deceased person have the authority to perform Shradda. Despite this, in the current era, the priests who conduct Shradda deny women to perform Shradda. In emergency conditions, however, if no one is available for performing Shradda, then it is better of if it is performed by women instead of not performing it at all. Again, substance over form prevails i.e. it is important that Shradda be performed wholeheartedly rather than performed for the sake of it. Under this circumstances, if the woman in the family shows more interest and enthusiasm, by all means let her do it! 

The below phrase from Garuda Puranam justifies:

तेषामभावे सर्वेषां समानोदकसन्ततिः । कुलद्वयेऽपि चोच्छिन्ने स्त्रीभिः कार्याः क्रियाः खग ॥ ३ ॥

teṣāmabhāve sarveṣāṃ samānodakasantatiḥ । kuladvaye'pi cocchinne strībhiḥ kāryāḥ kriyāḥ khaga ॥ 3 ॥

Stribhih refers to the female.

Disclaimer: The above source of information was obtained through various sources of information and some parts of it have been copied over to form a complete version. I hope this article clarifies the doubts about Tarpanam and significance of the last rites.